Comparing is human nature. We do it daily as it applies to many aspects of our lives. I compare menu items for lunch, fruit at the grocery store, the health of flowers at Home Depot, or the two socks that don’t match, but my teen wears them anyway. What’s up with that trend?
Caprison is natural and, in many facets of life, not unhealthy. However, comparing our lives to the lives of others is a slippery slope. In 1 Samuel 18:7, the women of Israel wrote this song to celebrate David’s victory over Goliath. “Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands!” NLT From that moment, Saul compared himself to David: his strength, valor on the battlefield, reverence for God, and the love of the people for him.
When I was a young youth pastor, a fellow youth pastor was knocking it out of the park in every way. It was like everything he touched turned to gold. I struggled to accomplish my vision through those months. Though my friend seemed to have everything together, his life was a mess. No one knew, but poor choices led to a loss of everything.
Sometimes, a person’s success remains. From the outside, it looks like everything is easy. We do not know what challenges the other person went through to be where they are. We don’t know the spiritual battles they have fought silently. We do not see the hours of prayer or the countless meals fasted. In other cases, we do not know the mess that was their life before Jesus. Christ may choose to bless abundantly to show His faithful hand. Comparison is dangerous.
I want to share an illustration from Jonah Berger’s book Contagious: Why Things Catch On. “A few years ago, students at Harvard University were asked to make a seemingly straightforward choice: which would they prefer, a job where they made $50,000 a year (option A) or one where they made $100,000 a year (option B)? Seems like a no-brainer, right? Everyone should take option B. But there was one catch. In option A, the students would get paid twice as much as others, who would only get $25,000. In option B, they would get paid half as much as others, who would get $200,000. So option B would make the students more money overall, but they would be doing worse than others around them. What did the majority of people choose? Option A. They preferred to do better than others, even if it meant getting less for themselves. They chose the option that was worse in absolute terms but better in relative terms. People don’t just care about how they are doing, they care about their performance in relation to others.”
Comparison brings out the opposite of the Fruit of the Spirit in our lives. It is a battle between our two natures. Think of Paul wanting to do but not doing and not wanting to but doing. Our human nature is in a constant battle with the Spirit. Both are vying for control. Comparison leads to jealousy, coveting, and much more if we allow it to take hold of our lives.
It is easy to look at what another person has or what they’ve accomplished. Human nature is to be envious. The Spirit in us celebrates what God accomplishes in the lives of others. So, how, then, do we move past human nature into the nature of the Spirit?
First, Pray for the other person. Every time you begin to compare, stop and pray for them. Pray that God will bless them. It is hard to envy someone when you pray for their blessing.
Second, Pray that the Fruit of the Spirit will be evident in your life. If the Spirit grows in us, those things not of Him are pushed out. It is hard to be envious when the Spirit grows fruit in our lives.
Danger, comparison is ahead of you. Don’t let it gain a foothold in your life.
Through Time 