My blog today is not about arguing for or against complementarian vs. egalitarian views. I was raised in and belong to an egalitarian fellowship (denomination). From that egalitarian perspective, I am addressing practical steps when men and women work together in ministry.
I wrote this blog weeks ago but never posted it. Now, in light of continued arguments about the future of the SBC, I think it is a good time to share my personal thoughts.
Twelve years ago, I hired a single female youth pastor. She and her family are now transitioning to the mission field. In the years she served with me, a husband and three beautiful kids were added to the mix. At the time of her hire, I received many calls warning against hiring a single female. The reasons ranged from the appropriateness of being in an office with a woman to an assertion that I was destined to have a moral failure. Insert rolling eyes here.
During that time, Hannah moved from being the youth pastor to the associate pastor of the church. I trusted her with making decisions when I was not in the room and valued her opinion when I was. I can honestly say that she was an incredible hire and I will forever be thankful for her integrity, creativity, and passion for ministry. She was my right hand in every area of church life.
I have always disagreed with the Billy Graham Rule, though I certainly understand its intent. We want to make sure the very appearance of impropriety is not breached. Is it fair in our current culture to assume a man and a woman cannot work together without failing in some sinful area? I would say it is very unfair. The assertion is that a man cannot control himself if a woman walks into the room, and that it is the woman’s fault.
Now, please understand, you can’t be foolish. You do need to have precautions in place. I would submit that these apply even if every person in the office were men. Here are some tips to help others who may find themselves in a similar situation.
1. Keep God in the center of everything.
2. Have an abiding time with Jesus daily.
3. Foster a strong relationship with your spouse.
4. Build a relationship between your spouse and the pastoral staff.
5. If married, build a relationship with the staff’s spouse.
6. Never discuss personal marital issues with a staff person of the opposite sex.
7. If you end up in the office or at a meal with the staff person, inform your spouse.
8. Never allow familiarity to cross the professional line.
9. Know you can be both professional and loving of your staff, no matter their gender.
10. Having others in the office is a plus if you can. In our case, there are other full-time staff.
One of my ministry mentors, Pastor Donna Barrett, recently wrote a chapter in the new book, Trusted with Treasure: A Handbook on Ethics in Ministry. Chapter 10 is titled Working Together in the Harvest Fields. I recommend you pick up a copy. Pastor Donna outlines precautions and policy considerations and also offers great ways to promote inclusion.
I love having the voice of Godly women in my life. Those may be spiritual mothers, board members, or staff pastors who serve with me. Women in ministry bring valuable insights into situations. Their perspective is often one of nurturing and mercy. There are great women of faith who are ready and willing to serve in the local church. They will do so with honor and integrity.
I am incredibly thankful for Hannah’s time here on staff with my wife and me. Our other staff feel the same. Now that we have the joy of sending her family onto the mission field, God has brought in a new staff person for this season. Jason and his family will bring a new dynamic and perspective to our church and ministries. In each season, I am thankful for those who come alongside me in the work of God, whether men or women.
Through Time 